It has come to the attention of the media and indeed anyone who has heard the story and couldn't believe it. A 12 year old boy who looks like he's 7 on a good day got some ugly whore pregnant. The world sucked up the story, wondering how far humanity would slide further before
the inevitable apocalypse in 2012. The truth, however, was much worse.
She'd been fucking MANY different boys, not just Alfie Patten. Child services got involved and did what any Jeremy-Kyle fan would have been screaming just before the ad break. They did a DNA test with the child and the several (close to five) boys who were obviously not fully cognitively aware of the fact that some wilderbeest wanted to be plowed before she was legal - when the chances of anything coming near her sexually drop 99.99%.
So does this story have a happy ending? Well, according to
Broodmother Chantelle, her mother Penny insisted that her daughter was a virgin before meeting Alfie. This is, of course, nonsense, but you know, look at her and picture what cruel dimension of hell her mother came from.
The United States doesn't seem so bad when these stories come out of the woodwork in the UK. Lets just hope that Jeremy Kyle gets through to them all and tells them to 'stick something on the end of it' - if they're even old enough to read the directions on the Durex box.