Saturday, June 30, 2012

Tom not so cruisey

"Divorce? Hahahaha! I'm still married to Xenu."

As soon as the manic movie star began to date Katie Holmes it became evident that their relationship was doomed for failure. Cruise and his bizzare behaviour like jumping on Oprahs couch or claiming he wanted to eat Katie Holmes' placenta were the centrepiece of an erratic and bizzare period in both Katie and Toms life. Scientology was the front of the wacky Top Gun star, but he found himself in the danger zone many times throughout his relationship.

What's next for Tom? Perhaps a Jonestown massacre where he runs around claiming the end of the world is nigh and kills all his former co-stars.

As for Katie Holmes, she better hope to hell she keeps a hold on Suri. The last thing that girl needs is a highly impressionable father with mental problems vindicating himself on her achievements. The man got a gold statue of her first shit, for crying out loud. Don't believe me? Look it up.

Lets hope for mankinds sake he doesn't continue procreating. The war of the worlds would be in the works for sure.

Monday, June 11, 2012

"Was that democracy I heard outside? Or just a bunch of Santorum?"

As Scmidt Romney IV looks all but certain for the Republican nomination, a smelly insurgent is trying to become relevant again - if not to clean his filth encrusted name from Googles all knowing powers.
Rick Santorum (Mitt Romneys only 'serious' competition in the Republican primaries) is claiming that Ron Paul is looking to seperate the party on contentious issues. Ron Paul enjoyed major success in the primaries - winning the second most many states, although the mainstream media would tell you otherwise. However due to the system of delegate votes in Tampa, it is still possible for Ron Paul to steal the nomination, although it seems that the battle against democracy is trying every dirty trick in the book to discredit and nullify his actions.

But our attention seeking 'second place' winner Rick Santorum is claiming that the insurgents need to be contained, even going as far as to say "I'm concerned that Ron Paul and some of his supporters out there are looking for a platform fight, and I want to make sure we have strong, principled conservatives there who stood with me in our primary fight to go there and counterbalance the effect of the Paul folks."

This is coming from the guy who said he would never support Romney - and claimed that Romney would destroy America. He claims to follow the constitution - something Paul has done right down to the letter. How much longer will these wolves in sheeps clothing continue to con the citizens of America? Perhaps Mason Verger said it best; "When the fox hears the rabbit scream he comes a-runnin'... but not to help."