Thursday, November 15, 2012

Four more years

Mitt Romney once again fails to connect with his asian constituents.

Well it's post election, and as highly expected Obama beat Romney handily, carrying all but one of the battleground states in a 206/332 electoral vote beating. His concession speech spoke kindly of the result, but the anger and frustration of millions of wasted dollars to lose by about three and a half million votes was evident in his souless eyes. 

And now he's trashing the minorities again in defeat. Rather than being simply forgotten like he should, he wants to go out in a manner even Scrooge and Mr Burns would be ashamed of. Putting down the lack of minority votes for the Republican ticket to 'pandering to the minorities enjoyment of free things' rather than a lack of Mitt's outreach to those minorities. An out of touch old man who owns a lift for his cars at one of his homes simply cannot sympathise with the needs of the lower and middle class.  Further to these setbacks saying that 47% of the vote 'was never going to vote for him' is basically claiming that most Americans are lost causes. Great way to unify the nation, Mitt.

Obama is definitely the better choice right now - the more interesting thing to watch will be the election that follows a two term presidency. No incumbency, no familiarity with the nominees for each party - that's something that will be very fascinating to watch. You know, those of you who own televisions and eat caviar off a brazilian strippers stomach. Normal people.





Saturday, June 30, 2012

Tom not so cruisey

"Divorce? Hahahaha! I'm still married to Xenu."
 
 
Inevitable.

As soon as the manic movie star began to date Katie Holmes it became evident that their relationship was doomed for failure. Cruise and his bizzare behaviour like jumping on Oprahs couch or claiming he wanted to eat Katie Holmes' placenta were the centrepiece of an erratic and bizzare period in both Katie and Toms life. Scientology was the front of the wacky Top Gun star, but he found himself in the danger zone many times throughout his relationship.

What's next for Tom? Perhaps a Jonestown massacre where he runs around claiming the end of the world is nigh and kills all his former co-stars.

As for Katie Holmes, she better hope to hell she keeps a hold on Suri. The last thing that girl needs is a highly impressionable father with mental problems vindicating himself on her achievements. The man got a gold statue of her first shit, for crying out loud. Don't believe me? Look it up.

Lets hope for mankinds sake he doesn't continue procreating. The war of the worlds would be in the works for sure.

Monday, June 11, 2012


"Was that democracy I heard outside? Or just a bunch of Santorum?"

As Scmidt Romney IV looks all but certain for the Republican nomination, a smelly insurgent is trying to become relevant again - if not to clean his filth encrusted name from Googles all knowing powers.
Rick Santorum (Mitt Romneys only 'serious' competition in the Republican primaries) is claiming that Ron Paul is looking to seperate the party on contentious issues. Ron Paul enjoyed major success in the primaries - winning the second most many states, although the mainstream media would tell you otherwise. However due to the system of delegate votes in Tampa, it is still possible for Ron Paul to steal the nomination, although it seems that the battle against democracy is trying every dirty trick in the book to discredit and nullify his actions.

But our attention seeking 'second place' winner Rick Santorum is claiming that the insurgents need to be contained, even going as far as to say "I'm concerned that Ron Paul and some of his supporters out there are looking for a platform fight, and I want to make sure we have strong, principled conservatives there who stood with me in our primary fight to go there and counterbalance the effect of the Paul folks."

This is coming from the guy who said he would never support Romney - and claimed that Romney would destroy America. He claims to follow the constitution - something Paul has done right down to the letter. How much longer will these wolves in sheeps clothing continue to con the citizens of America? Perhaps Mason Verger said it best; "When the fox hears the rabbit scream he comes a-runnin'... but not to help."

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Trumped again

Dinner with Dick Cheney and Joan Rivers?

Seriously, though. Imagine what it would be like sitting down with these two. Most people would be driven insane in the first 13 seconds. The real estate mogul and the Bain finance supreme overlord in the same room would be enough for most people to dive out the window, but willingly allowing yourself to consume food at the same time as these two? You'll be hoping that something in the food kills you before your brain melts like a cube of cheese in a fireplace.

The thin lizzie addict has been in the news again, claiming that Obamas birth certificate is still a fake. I guess he doesn't like being wrong? I guess with all the ass kissing on the apprentice, his opinion seems to make sense to him. But hey, if you were getting paid big money to pretend that he was clever, wouldn't it be worth it?

Probably not, actually.

Flip Romney

 Image property of Futurama

With Romney all but coronated for the GOP nomination, it seems that the mormon is set for his embarassing run for the presidency. Allow me to explain.

Mitt Romney is unelectable. The comparison between him and Obama is embarassing. He has all the charisma of an undecorated napkin - and he's running against the highly popular, first african american president. Obama has created 2.5 million jobs, started bringing troops back from Afganistan, killed Osama bin laden with his bare hands and steered America through one of the toughest economic times in recent history.

Mitt Romney is socially out of touch, his sense of humour is so awkward that its only funny if you're making fun of him. Quotes like 'Morning, Y'all' and 'Cheesy grits' have raised concerns that he has NO idea what he's talking about. His comments about 'free america' include being able to fire people makes him happy, he doesn't worry about the poor, and strapping his dog to the roof of his car and travelling across the state as the frightened animals excrement dribbled down the window.

I wonder how 2016's election will turn out.

Monday, May 14, 2012

So, a man named Adrian Vasquez is attempting to sue a cruise ship company for negligence, after being stuck at sea and having his two companions die from dehydration.

Wait a minute.

Adrian was on a completely unrelated fishing trip when this happened. Princess Cruises had nothing to do with the failure of his boat, or his subsequent ordeal.

So why is he suing them?

According to a UN convention discussing law of the sea, the duty to render assistance is there to help those in distress, to the best of their ability insofar as they are able. So their unfortunate passing of this man has put them in the firing line for a several million dollar lawsuit.

I think this is unfair. The cruise had NOTHING to do with him, yes it is terrible that they did not pick him up but a cruise ship is designed for rest and relaxation, not humanitarian efforts and water scouting for shipwreck survivors and rescue. If this had been a military run operation, or the ship in question had been one used for humanitarian efforts in regards to helping others in these unfortunate situations, then yes, a lawsuit would be appropriate. This is unfortunate that simply because one is at sea, they become liable for anyone elses problems.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

So, a lot more news recently. Hollande won the election, and hopes to pull France out of the financial whirlpool threatening the EU. US President Barack Obama has come out in favour of gay marriage - personally I don't agree with gay marriage. 'Marriage' is a christian term, and does not blanket the entire worlds meaning for 'union'. Gays and lesbians deserve the same rights, but not the same name. Marriage is christian - and christians don't believe in same sex relationships. It's important to protect both peoples rights in this argument.

Vladimir 'Bear-slayer' Putin has turned down his expected appearance at the G8 summit - instead sending the previous President Dmitri. He was his successor and predecessor. How strange.

Greece is trying another government - the third time so far since the crisis of their economy. Meanwhile the olympic torch is set to be lit there - who's paying the gas bill?

Friday, May 4, 2012

The french connection

So, the incumbent right winger Nicholas Sarkozy is preparing for an ousting by socialist Francois Hollande. I personally expect Mr Sarkozy to lose this run off election. Perhaps he shouldn't have been flaunting around his supermodel wife when the Euro is in such a pathetic position.

It will be interesting to see what happens here - it is much like the highly contested American elections of 2008. The 'socialist' choice ended up taking the win - and history was made. As far as the 2012 elections are concerned, it is my belief that if presumptive nominee Mitt Romney becomes the inevitable GOP pick - that his blandness and lack of charisma will put him in the same boat as John Kerry. John Kerry, you ask? He's the guy who lost the 2004 elections to Junior. Yes, George one-in-the-white-house-is-worth-two-in-the-bush beat him senseless. Whilst Hollande is supposed to be a bland choice compared to the king of french stereotypes, his stability is something the french need desperately.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Return!

I'm back.

It's been two years, but now I am here with more passion and finesse than ever before, and hopefully this brings me some success as a blogger. From now on, I will address the news as only I can.

Currently Osama Bin Laden's documents have made public release - this seems a funny time to do it (one year after his death, election year worries?) where the taliban symbol of 'freedom' (nothing says I want to free the hell out of you like hijacking planes and crashing them into buildings) implies that Obama or General Petraeus (highest ranked military officer running the afganistan war) would be better targets than the vice president "Rambling" Joe Biden. Seriously. Bin Laden was hidin' but wanted Joe Biden. Who would have guessed that Osama's greatest weapon was the guy who whispered in President Obama's ear after his Obamacare win that the win was a "big fucking deal" - nearby a microphone that picked up his gaffe. What was he going to do? Fall asleep at the oval office during a terrorist attack? Please.

I'd love to see Mitt Romney use that as a political ad. "Obama is such a Muslim that his second in command was planned to not be assassinated because he could bring down America."

We can dream.